Love and marriage, spare me the horse and carriage

For the last month my life has been consumed with taking care of my best friends wedding. Between the bachelorette party, actual wedding logistics and scrambling to find an acceptable dress that isn’t whore length, there’s a lot to account for. Fold in the fact I’ll be #broke paying it off the next 3 months, it has made me realize that it is a true gauge of how much you really want it. Consolation: she looked beautiful and hasn’t been happier so at least, it wasn’t all in vain. As a non-traditionalist, the cliche wedding execution always perplexed me. Why not have a dinner? Why not eliminate the stress that pomp and circumstance puts on everyone involved? Why not go to an island, elope and spend all the time you were going to bullshit the 10 relatives you didn’t even want to invite, fucking your new life partner. Despite the good times you’re offering your family, what is the ultimate payoff for a full-blown, traditional wedding?

The traditional route is what we as kids were forced to believe was valid. A life that is “fulfilled” could only be validated by kids and marriage in the picturesque way. The older I get the more I realize how much marriage itself is a rouse within a rouse. I’m not talking about companionship and shared goals, but marriage ceremony and concept itself. Call me a byproduct of the divorce generation, but until my 30’s I never even thought twice about how relevant marriage actually was to my life. You see everyone else around you pairing off, sometimes with people that make sense and other times with whatever scraps are left. Life always seemed like too much of an adventure to resign to that kinda commitment so early on. You marry, pop out a few kids in 5 years and sit back and wait for the rest of your life to unfold. Personal ambitions fall to the wayside because you have a human now relying on you. In many ways I view parenthood very seriously, much more seriously than marriage because it’s a task you need to take on wholeheartedly with compassion and understanding like no other. There is no sick day or “I’ll get to it later” because everything you do will impact your child. Even if you have the commitment of another to help you in that journey, there is absolutely no guarantee that they will uphold it. Kids are no fucking joke becuase they’re the physical manifestation of REAL commitment, literally the two people combined.

The most beautiful part of the ideal of marriage is the thought of having a partner. Someone to ride through life’s bullshit with, theoretically someone who will emotionally and physically be there through everything. A person you can laugh with, openly be honest and emotional with and someone who will always put your best interests first. The problem is we’re all human and as much as love can carry two people together, sometimes it can be the same poison that kills them. Personally, I fucking love flaws and I’ll never be someone who looks for perfection in a partner. Somewhere in my fucked up database of psychology it occurred to me that if I can make it with someone under flawed circumstances, they might have the endurance to get through anything. I’ve had “nice guys” walk out on me, bad dudes come through at the most unexpected times and many other situational surprises that make me sympathetic to many situations. Hats off to all my non-traditional types and respect also to those that decide to take the road more traveled. For me, hopeless romanticism is my theoretical marriage.

– @zeenakoda

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The Litterboxx Podcast – Episode 9

SWORD ON FLEEK BABY
SWORD ON FLEEK BABY
Almost 10 deep, every gals dream right?

2015 starts with a bang as Katy and Zeena discuss working at Hot Topic + Zeena’s VICE Noisey piece talking about those crazy, yet memorable times. We also dive into classy behavior such as stealing food from the buffet, stalking significant others and their current partners on social media and sex education classes. On the more committed end of the spectrum, we chat about being a bridesmaid and all the weird quirks that come with it. We even get into the dreaded M word – MARRIAGE.

We all know it will cross our path at some point but everyone has a different stance. As ladies, people expect us to embrace it. Zeena a fan of kids + marriage, Katy is less of an advocate. We explore the middle ground and all the fun bullshit that pours into it in between. Listen in, we’re switching to weekly so expect more coming up! :)

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The Litterboxx Podcast – Episode 8

FullSizeRender2014 was another year of ups, downs, laughs and random dating bullshit. What more could a human ask for? Music maybe and that my frenz, we have on lock.

We start off 2015 recounting our top moments of 2104. Exploring the sorted affair that has been our dating lives, we talk cougar conquests, premium dick pics, creepin’ tactics and so many more hysterical tales. The clams chat about the holidays, Zeena’s time on the Going Off Track podcast as well as improper etiquette aka, the rudest way someone has ever walked out on her. Dudes these days, sheesh.

We can’t thank you enough for your support, much love.
@zeenakoda / @mercyfulkate

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Why I Chose Android over iPhone… Again

The size difference here is pretty negligible, and that isn't even the iPhone 6 Plus
The size difference here is pretty negligible, and that isn’t even the iPhone 6 Plus

I had the privilege of being eligible for a phone upgrade at the top of the New Year, and let’s face it, after carrying around a busted piece of shit for months, I was literally counting down the days until I could say good riddance to my barely functioning Galaxy S2.  Prior to the iPhone 6’s debut, I had leaned towards getting an iPhone for size practicality purposes alone.  Once I saw the size of the standard 6 (not even talking about the ridiculous size of the plus), I realized that there is now no such thing as a “small and practical smartphone” so I was pretty much back to square one.

I kind of miss the days of having my super tiny and virtually indestructible Motorola pink Razr phone, but it’s 2015 and now phones are basically just hand held computers. I’m just going to have to deal with it and say goodbye to all of my micro clutch bags that I can’t comfortably stuff my phone into.

The last time I had an upgrade, I was torn between sticking with my beloved Android brand or finally getting an iPhone to see what all of the hoopla is about.  After all, I had never experienced an iPhone before and maybe it was about time I test the Apple waters.  I decided to do some crowd sourcing and asked the good people of Facebook for their opinions on either phone. I had to take all of the “brand loyal” comments with a grain of salt (and blocked those who suggested a fucking Blackberry, come on son I don’t need that kind of stupidity in my life) since those people did not have a truly unbiased opinion.

Man, I miss this phone.  It was so tiny and made me feel like the Pink Ranger
Man, I miss this phone. It was so tiny and made me feel like the Pink Ranger

I noticed that literally ALL of the people who switched from iPhone to Android or vice versa swore that Android was better and vowed never to buy another iPhone again.  Still not entirely convinced, this definitely played heavily into my decision.  When I went to Verizon that day, I fucked with the display models of both the Galaxy S2 and whatever version of the iPhone was around at the time and quickly realized that I don’t have the time, desire, or patience to learn a new phone which ultimately sealed my decision to get the Galaxy.  Also, my dad had just gotten the S2 and we were really excited to “bump phones” for data exchanges – gotta stay in tune with the pops.

I was pretty happy with my Galaxy S2 actually, until I eventually had dropped it/gotten it wet so many times that it reached a point where I was literally afraid to turn it off because I didn’t think it would ever turn back on. Eventually, it just started to randomly turn off on it’s own and only sometimes would it come back on without incident. The camera used to be crystal clear, until I cracked my lens and water got under it leaving every photo I had with some sexy black specks. It’s happened to us all.

Finally the decision came, iPhone 6 or the Galaxy S5.  After speaking to a few people, I learned that my super outdated S2 had built-in features that iPhone was only now just adopting.  I asked Zeena how she felt about her iPhone 6, she noted that she was excited to finally have a self timer on her camera.  Not only have I had a self timer all along on my S2, I’m pretty sure my now vintage Droid X (which is probably still in police custody… but that’s a different story for another time) also had a timer if I remember correctly.  I then caught some friends using “voice texts” and raving about how it’s an awesome new feature on the iPhone 6.  Although I never deliberately used it, this is also a feature that the S2 had. I know this because I often mistook the feature for Google Voice Texts and embarrassingly recorded and sent weird snippets of myself talking into my phone to people.

My broken ass Galaxy S2.  RIP :(
My broken ass Galaxy S2. RIP :(

Additionally, the iPhone STILL does not have a rooted Swype keyboard.  I love my Swype keyboard because I’m awkward and clumsy and have long, witch-like fingernails which make it even more impossible to type on a touch keyboard as is.  Swype makes texting super fast and easy for me and I definitely cannot give that up.  Sure, I can download an app for that, but why waste space on an app when I can just purchase a phone that already has that feature built into it? And while we’re on the topic of “space,” having 128GB and being able to use emojis on social media were two key iPhone features that the Android lacked.  Galaxy S5 only has 16gigs, but then I learned that 128gig SD cards are available for purchase. That’s 128 + 16 equaling 144 gigs equaling superior storage space. I also like having the option of removable storage space because it’s just so much easier to pop that sucker into my computer and upload pictures rather than have to sync my phone and go through a whole annoying process of weird prompts and directions that I don’t understand. I like the ease of it.

My final decision was made just days before it was time for my upgrade when my friend and her mom both upgraded to the S5.  They both abandoned iPhone for Android for a magnitude of reasons and were very content with their phones.  Cassie’s mother showed me a bunch of pictures she took with it and they were so vivid and colorful and sharp. I was STUNNED to learn that some of them were even taken in zoom since I’m used to grainy, barely visible zoom photos. The major selling point on the S5 was learning that it is shatterproof and water resistant. Since I destroy everything, this is the feature I need most once you take into consideration the amount of damage my S2 endured.  I decided that sacrificing the ability to emoji on social media was only a small price to pay for a high quality phone.

I got the Samsung Galaxy S5 and so far, I really love my phone.  I also invested in an Otterbox because I am NOT taking any chances.  I also have vowed not to overcharge it either and so far, haven’t kept it plugged in longer than I’ve needed.  The phone struggle is real and while I admit that my opinion is slightly biased since I have never had an iPhone, I hope that my testimony will be helpful to some who faced the same dilemma as I had.

Oh, and one more thing:
For those iPhone loyalists who mercilessly teased me for having such a large phone for all of these years, please take your iPhone 6 pluses and shove them up your pretentious asses!

kthxbai

– @mercyfulkate

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I’d Still Hit It: Zack De La Rocha

Tan Latino Man + Guitar = PORN
Tan Latino Man + Guitar = PORN
The other day I saw my homeboy poking fun (via Facebook of course) at one of my biggest 90’s crushes, the Latino revolutionary god that is Rage Against The Machine’s Zack De La Rocha. How could anyone make fun of Zack or challenge his sexiness?! I’m a woman who stands by my man and with a megababe this solid, I gotta rep for my team. When you’re used to listening to the bullshit sob stories and player fodder I’ve been hearing from “men” for the better half of the last decade of my life, you come to really respect action. Zack my friend, is a man of action. He’s so deep in that sometimes his lack of action is a form of action. HE’S A VERBOSE, COMPLEX, WORLD SAVIN’ LATINO BABE. Yes, I am aware his face is a bit “different” lets say, BUT I’d strive to bury that face deep in this kitty box any day. I’d let him talk to me about world change, chemtrails, revolución, whatever – as long as he raps it to me, shirtless. Actually…getting a little hot and bothered thinking about it. Let me say this – if you haven’t had at least one Latin man in your lifetime make it your 2015 goal to get some of that passion junkie goodness. 98% success rate, there’s always 1 or 2 duds tho so proceed with caution.

If you didn’t already know, Zack is 2x the awesome because like many Latin men I’ve loved before he made his way through the hardcore music ranks. Maybe it’s the simplicity, the meat and potatoes groove buffet that hardcore offers but during Zack’s time in Cali’s Inside Out, he honed in on that perfect balance of rhythmic heavy rock and rap without sounding like a fucking cornball. The thing is Zack can fucking RAP, unlike many of his rock driven counterparts trying to puss out. He’s one of the few to deliver on such strong cadences but also inject groove and swag into his vocal inflection. Factor in those lyrics and the ballsiness to actually put his money, where his mouth is. I’ve always loved the artistic, complex, humble genius types and Zack certainly fits the bill. As we all know, dreads were a rite of passage in the 90’s and Zack was one of the babes who donned it first and correctly. Move aside Jon Davis, take a chill pill Brandon Boyd circa 1999, ZACK WORE THAT SHIT BEST. He sported the ill bob-esque mini dreads and faux (sometimes legit) street military gear in a way that fucked it up for all imitation boyfranz I would have to come.

NoSpiritualSurrenderWhat I loved about 90’s babes was their willingness to address real issues and not solely indulge in the bullshit world of only sex, drugs, bitches and rock n roll. A man with a purpose, humility and the resolve to represent something positive is fucking hot. Like undeniably, timelessly sexy. If only I could eek out a threesome with my other Latino revolutionary crush Immortal Technique, my life would be complete.

Zack is still looking pretty kept up and sexy, although assuming a much more low key existence these days. I’m sure he’ll age like a fine wine and since I’m a fan of old Latino men, I’m sure my love will germinate as we both become fucking raisins. BITCH GOTTA DREAM ABOUT THE GLORY DAYS! Zack was recently featured on a track “Close Your Eyes,” off the latest Run The Jewels album – listen to it below. Dat fuego baby!

– @zeenakoda aka The Latino Slayer

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Ear Crush: Meridiem “Supernova” + Teaser Video

nerah A few years ago I met Nicole through Eye Ra Haze and was immediately taken back by a) her babeliness and b) her ability to absolutely shred. Her new band Meridiem focuses exclusively on instrumental elements and has dropped a new track “Supernova” which you can check out via Soundcloud below. “Supernova” takes listeners on a musical trail of growth and exploration, sonically a natural progression for the musical unit. The tone is both brutally commanding and lush, with an exploratory nod to that idyllic “space in-between” that is a theme throughout the new EP. Just in time for Christmas, here’s a nice little preview of what is to come with their debut EP “Odysseia” which is due out early 2015.

MeridieM’s debut EP “Odysseia” nods to jazz composition, foregoing traditional structures while tying each segment back beautifully to plush piano arrangements coupled with crushing riffs. The EP will boast a mix that highlights each nuance of this instrumental intertwining and aims to bring listeners along for the musical voyage. Live piano is ferociously coupled with standout bass, succinct distorted guitars and a perfectly aligned rhythm section. Percussive experimentation is paramount in this release, with a fierce focus on craftily weaving varied rhythms into deep grooves.

Watch a little teaser below and check out Nicole’s YouTube channel, loads of awesome covers, gear setups and shredding, duh.



Check out Meridiem on all the social channels:

http://www.facebook.com/MeridiemMusic
https://twitter.com/MeridiemMusic
http://instagram.com/MeridiemMusic

– @zeenakoda

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Beardos in babeland: To Beard, Or Not To Beard

Beards, many women love them but some ladies hate them. In our quest for love, babes and other riff-raff in-between, Katy and Zeena have both been witness to some beard turn-ons and a few viscous turn-offs. Collaboratively, we analyze the value of the beard – placement, body ratio, state of intoxication and all that jazz. Katy, very pro-beard. Zeena, poppin’ the beard cherry.

Rick-Hall-model-beard-naked

No-Shave-November, Decembeard, Lumbersexual… all are just a few words that have popped up in recent years when the ladies (and some of the dudes) realized how much they love a bearded man. I’m guilty of generally preferring a scruffy face over a freshly shaved one. It’s just so rugged and manly. Besides, who doesn’t love a little beard burn on her vagina?

Over the weekend, my beard fetish got real when I ran into someone who I never once looked at as anything more than just a friend and felt my panties moisten at the sight of this otherwise unremarkable man with a full, scruffy beard covering his face. I almost didn’t recognize him at first. This sudden aura of sex that radiated off of him has left me thinking of nothing other than how badly I want to sit on his face and feel that beard between my thighs. I can’t even deal with it. It’s so bad.

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Each time I think of the filthy things I want to do with this man, I can’t help but wonder how something as simple as growing a beard has transformed him from an average looking guy who I never thought twice about into the star of my wet dreams. It’s JUST a beard. How did this seemingly simple cosmetic decision leave me so weak in the knees? How did this man leap from “average” to “so hot I can’t even handle it?” In my deep thoughts, I realized that he doesn’t look as old anymore. Not that “old” has ever bothered me, but every laugh line around his mouth and his round jawline are now masked by this glorious sheet of hair that keeps his manliness in tact without revealing his flaws. So distinguished and rugged and oh my god I just can’t.

I found myself reflecting on all of the bearded men who I’ve slept with or drooled over and wonder if I would have found them as attractive if they were shaved. To be honest, I’m not so sure they would project the same sexiness. It’s almost depressing to think of the sex appeal that is so threatened by the removal of one’s beard. I’d prefer not to think about it, actually.

What I’m really trying to say is, grow those beards dudes and don’t ever, ever shave.

@mercyfulkate

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To be totally transparent, I have never been a fan of hearty beards. A little facial hair does a face good but the full blown hippie beard extravaganza was never of interest to me. In fact, any time I saw a man with a beard I automatically would deem them kinda dirty and sloppy. Sorry, my Latin background of pencil thin chin straps and various geometrical facial constructions never allowed my mind to move past that. A lil scruff is sexy to me, not a full blown gnome style triangle. Yuck.

I’ve always been skeptical of beards because you never know what is hiding underneath them. Sometimes the hair can shave down to a gorgeous face that hasn’t seen sunlight in months (maybe a beard is also an excellent way to keep your skin youthful), but most of the time it’s just foreign shock and you realize the beard was covering up a lot more. It’s one of the only ways men have to shape shift and as a natural skeptic, I’m constantly questioning what is underneath the beard. Then I moved to Brooklyn and had my first REAL encounter with babes bearing beards. For some reason these Hipster dudes LOVE the idea of an ironic beard and wear that shit with the utmost pride. Their passion and conviction for the sexiness of their beard is so strong it almost becomes validated at some point – if so many of them think it’s sexy, there must be something to it.

There are logistics to bearing a beard. You need to groom that thing, keep it clean and make sure when you’re eating/drinkin/pleasing a lady you keep that thing clean and fresh smelling. Take my word for it, you smell it and engage with it if you’re on the receiving end of that bearded love. If you’re a babe bearing a beard with a killer body – you can do no wrong. That full lumberjack look with a 6 pack is always OK with me and since moving to Brooklyn, lets just say I’ve seen a few ;) So dudes, savor the beardo goodness for the cold months because when heat hits, I wanna see that shaved so I can pinch those beautiful cheeks.

@zeenakoda

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The Litterboxx Podcast – Episode 7

Holiday season is the best time to sit back and watch the world hilariously unfold around you. If you can’t laugh with them, might as well laugh at them. In this episode, Katy and I catch up after Thanksgiving to talk about family madness, my time on Rob Kelly’s YKWD Podcast, courting etiquette and what is/isn’t appropriate to wear amongst the hipster crowd. I’m a Jersey girl, sue me for not wanting to wear inconvenient layers.

clams

We also dive in deep with some real issues and discuss Eric Garner, the decade anniversary of Dimebag Darrell’s death, Bill Cosby’s creep tendencies and of course – the demise of Scott Stapp from Creed. In 2015 we will be moving the cast to weekly and adding in more guests, maybe even some you may know or give a fuck about. We’re on iTunes + Stitcher too, share some Boxxtalk with a friend.

– @zeenakoda

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…And Injustice For All

The “law” has always been something that perplexes me but American law is entirely another beast. It’s amazing that in one part of a “united” country a law can serve the needs of one group of people but not be unanimously upheld. It has always been a contradiction in terms with some minor repercussions, but many major flaws. When you breakdown the logistics of a trial, juries decide the fate of an individual based on the presentations and evidence highlighted by another team of humans. Many times, the argument is up for debate and details lie on the backs of “personal accounts” and questionably validated evidence. In the case of Eric Garner, technology seemed to lie on justices’ side, with video CLEARLY EVIDENCING the account. Despite visible, widespread evidence a group of seemingly compassionate peers, from a variety of racial and cultural backgrounds, granted immunity. There is no debate on excessive force when the recipient ends up dead. The logic that one should not “resist arrest” lies in the same lane as someone not being mercilessly choked to death by “law enforcement.” Poor taste, morality and judgement on the part of the officer and for that miscalculation – he should pay the subsequent price.

eric_garner

Cops are not god and the “law” is not always right. This is not a new concept and although recent cases have brought racial undertones to the surface, the bottom line is police brutality is REAL. Any human you give authoritative power to that supersedes the limitations of others is subject to violation. It’s common sense, people POWER TRIP. All racial issues aside it is terrifying to think that society would allow a human to mercilessly assault another to the point of coercing death. The notion that law enforcement is above the law is an issue that has plagued this country for years and as the “land of the free” we should carefully scrutinize. With stand out cases such as this (which honestly are just those that are highlighted by the media, I’m not naive enough to think this doesn’t happen everyday without coverage) so many deficiencies come to light. I’m not crazy about guns but it’s instances like this that remind me why so many citizens adamantly defend of their right to bear arms. In a nation where the “law” which was instituted to protect and defend its citizens mercilessly kills without repercussion, how can we foster trust? What will stop this from happening to any of us, at any time?

Society by nature is hella complex. What is inevitable is human error and the emotional stakes are high. What CANNOT be denied is the fact that something happened, it’s clearly SHOWN on camera and someone is now dead at the hands of the “law.” The racial component to this case just intensifies the complexity of the case and as a minority I have certainly seen and experienced the difference. We’re raised to build out perceptions from our socioeconomic, personal and cultural constructs. No matter who you are or where you come from you come with preconceived notions. Obviously, education, experience and assimilation will change your opinions over the years but we cannot be oblivious to the fact that these conditions exist. Individual opinions don’t come waving flags and interpersonal relations are almost paradoxical in nature. Until you’ve been the victim of profiling it can be hard to TRULY relate.

Racism exists outside of just color lines – ethnicity, shade of skin color and cultural differences make the Earth a clusterfuck to live on. I’ll never forget a story my mother told me of her being engaged to and Irish man before my dad (momma was a pimp) and the relationship folded because his family thought she was “too dark” and “interracial relationships wouldn’t work in the long run.” This was the 70’s and although we’ve come a long way (thankfully or my bi-racial ass wouldn’t be writing this rant) we as a society cannot be blind to the stark realities of REAL racism and social judgement. I’ve been the victim of racial profiling in an altercation situation and found out first hand that it’s not pretty. There is no feeling like that absolute despair that takes over when the “law” accuses a group of ethnic folks over their white counterparts and the absolute worst is being profiled by another minority. There was one instance in my life where I feared defending myself against an older white woman attacking me because I knew I’d be blamed. Sure enough, I was implicated along with my Hispanic friends, when the cops showed up after allowing her to basically assault me at her will. After that instance I truly understood what it was like to be racially profiled, you can’t be a fool to the sweepingly judgmental world we live in. I won’t however, be a log on the fire.

Many people I personally know that have entered law enforcement have not in my eyes been the best judge of character or morality. There have certainly been a few that I have also found both emotionally and intellectually unintelligent. Frankly many have been friends I’ve shared illegal times with only to find out years later that they were now cops. This is also not to say that law enforcement isn’t incredible as well – they protect and serve us daily, putting their lives on the line. Many of them are selfless heroes and because of the tasteless actions of a few, their perception is jeopardized as well. The law should not be above anyone and justice, true justice should be something we collectively as a society actively fight for. It’s not only our right, but our duty.

– @Zeenakoda

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I’d Still Hit It: Fred Durst

[Editors note: Stoked to have Denise on-board our team of outspoken women. I’ve known her for a long time – she’s a babe with impeccable taste in music, media, sports and humor. She’s graciously brought this new series to BoxxTalk which we will all be contributing to because you know, these things are important…the clams abide. – @zeenakoda]

Once upon a time...
Once upon a time…

Let’s all be real with ourselves for a second: at one point in our life, we’ve owned a Limp Bizkit album. Personally, I owned Three Dollar Bill Y’all$ and I am okay with that. When Limp Bizkit first came into the mainstream world, I was in middle school and it was unlike anything I was listening to at the time. Their cover of Faith (originally by George Michael) seemed genius to my seventh grade self (AKA I was an idiot). It was weird and I was into it.

Fred+Durst

This article isn’t about owning Limp Bizkit albums though. It is about the fact that after all these years, I still find Fred Durst oddly attractive. I use the word oddly because I don’t understand it. I don’t WANT to like this man, but I just can’t help thinking “I’d still hit it” when I see his current photos. He has this thuggish charm about him that still seems to linger even at 44 years old.

Let’s go ahead and get this off my chest: I used to write Mr. Durst haikus on Twitter and he would sometimes reply or DM me with a “whoa whoa whoa” response (or something of that nature). The poems often mentioned showing him my boobs, wanting to bone and definitely usually mentioned his red hat. I only wish I had saved said poems for such an occasion. I no longer follow him on Twitter out of sheer shame.

I saw Limp Bizkit at some metal festival in San Bernardino a few years ago, and it’s sort of when this re-obsession started. I began to Google him and see what he was up to, and what I found was not what I expected at all. The man has become a director and filmmaker with credits such as this profound eHarmony commercial, see the cinematic glory below.

A career switch to film was probably one of the last things I expected Durst to do, but it looks like he is still active with music as well. I won’t be buying any of the new Limp Bizkit albums, or anything else he does most likely, but you know what? I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.


WUT?

– Denise Borders / @Punkworldviews
Check Denise out on http://punkworldviews.com/

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